Reflection

So, as the year wraps up and a new one awaits, I thought it was time for some reflection.

This year, I would say, was a foundational year for ya girl.

For me, 2017 was my year of awareness.

  • Awareness of self which really equates to an awareness of my inherently sinful nature. In terms of self, Yawl, before this year I thought I was the sweetest, kindest, person ever. Like I really thought. People that know me in real life are probably like

Lol. I mean I knew I had my weaknesses, but I was just always like well if people really got to know me they’ll just love me because I am so kind and nice, right? Wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I am not like an evil villain or a wolf in sheep clothing. Nothing of that nature. I am just not the most well-behaved sheep. (Yep, I just referred to myself as sheep. Go with it.) I just thought that innately, I was a such a good person. However, my thoughts, actions, and memories proved otherwise. You know in the movies or in real life, that one person that’s like “why does everyone hate me, I am literally like the nicest person ever”.

All the while never owning up or having a blind spot to their shortcomings? Are you getting the idea now? Yes? Good. No, people don’t hate me -I think- that was just for theatrics. This year revealed certain aspects of myself that, in hindsight, were always there, but that I was not yet privy to or blatantly chose to ignore. It revealed to me my brokenness and my worst imperfections. I am not the nicest and I am not the kindest, but I am now aware. Because of this awareness, my biggest goal daily is to be a better friend, sister, and daughter than I was the day before. I am trying to strive to be like Jesus and to be an embodiment of his love. I might just be a little kinder and a little nicer next year. Catch me if you can.

  • Another thing this year showed me was an awareness that on my own I am truly weak, which led to an awareness of God’s presence. I don’t think I have ever been aware of God’s presence like I have been this year. I am more aware of the grace of God, now more than ever. Situations where I should have failed, I succeeded. Situations that could have easily gone haywire, God fixed and brought peace. Situations where I could have easily, very easily, very very easily made a fool of myself, my heavenly father was likeIn retrospect, God protected me from things that I did not know I needed protecting from. He withheld from me things that I wanted. The things I wanted could have very well destroyed the very essence of my being. It was the kind of thing that “so easily entangles”. But God. He protected me and continues to protect me from myself and for that, I am eternally grateful. Awareness of the grace and mercy of God even as I did (do) normal things like drive back and forth to work every day is something I pray I never take for granted. Awareness that on my own, I am truly powerless and can do nothing was the best thing that ever happened to me. It is teaching me to be vulnerable. In my vulnerability, I am learning what love is. In my weakness, God is truly strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

  • Bonus: Another thing that I became aware of this year was that I (was) am a people pleaser. Not in an obvious way but in a very subtle way. But in 2018, we are free from people bondage and we are learning to say no, thank you and yes, please without feeling bad about it. Capisce?

Yep, 2017 was a foundational year.

With awareness comes a decision to be active in pursuing change or to be passive and forego change. I have decided, by the grace of God, that I am going to be active. For me, after awareness comes action. So, I believe that 2018 will be my year of action. I’ve already termed it my year of being “bout that action”. I’m speaking and writing it into existence.

In 2018, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, we move.

Overall, 2017 was a great year. No complaints from me. There were things I hoped to have accomplished, done, or experienced that did not occur. Nonetheless, it was a revealing year and it certainly did not go to waste.

What about you?

How was this year for you? What worked and did not work? What disappointed you or excited you? Where did you fall short and where did you excel?  What is something you hoped to accomplish but failed to do so? What is something you hoped to accomplish and succeeded in that? What was an unpleasant surprise that occurred? Did it change the course of the year?  Did it inadvertently change you? How did it make you feel? What was a pleasant surprise that occurred and what were the circumstances that led to that? What do you hope will change next year? The list goes on and on.

I encourage you to do some reflection.

I know some people experienced loss, pain, and anguish this year like never before. My prayer for you is that God restores unto you everything that was taken away from you seven times more.

Psalm 30:5

“weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning”.

There’s something about newness that brings about hope. I pray you bask in that in this new year.

Isaiah 43:18-19

 “Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.

PS; This was also my favorite verse this year.

I hope you all have a great new year!

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