Whom God has called, he has called, regardless of your past mistakes or struggles. If God has called you to impact the world, if God has called you to live a better life than you are living, if God has destined you to live an extraordinary life, if God has called you to pastor a church, or maybe start a mentoring group ,if God has gifted you with sight, speech, or vision, or singing, or ministering, whatever he has called you to do, whatever he has gifted you with, regardless of where you are right now, regardless of who you think you’ve become, regardless of the limitations you’ve set for yourself, regardless of what you’ve done that you think is so unforgivable, remember, always, that “the gifts and calling of God are without repentance”.

There were times when I stopped spending time with Jesus or when I was ashamed to lift my hands up in worship to God because I was ashamed of what I had recently done. I would focus and meditate on my past, and I thought, “there’s no possible way God will ever use someone like me, he will probably just use someone that’s Godlier, more obedient, more eloquent, more reserved, or maybe more outgoing…” and the list would go on and on. I would even try to make myself fit the image or have the personality of a person that I thought God was more likely to use.  I tried to distort my personality and I tried to become someone I wasn’t, essentially, I tried to be more liked.

PS: Listen, at the end of the day, even if I wanted to change myself, I couldn’t, at least not by my own strength. First, I would need to repent to God and surrender all of me to him in the most vulnerable way, and let him heal me and then get me back on the right track. Sometimes we think we need to fix ourselves before God can use us when God is the only one that can fix us. It’s like trying to put your dislocated shoulders back in place before going to the doctor. We will probably end up hurting ourselves more and feeling more pain and frustration than we were meant to experience compared to if we had just gone to the doctor. That’s their job, to fix you and help you become better.

Anyway, I heard this bible verse in church one day, and it clicked. Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.”

God uses whom he wants to use regardless of what they or others may think. He used David without apology, even when others pointed out people that were physically stronger than he was. He used Moses, a stutterer, without apologizing for it, even though Aaron was more qualified for the job. What this tells me is that God uses who he wants to use without expressing regret for it.  If God is not apologizing for the fact that he is using us or wants to use us, then why do we feel the need to limit ourselves and let our blessings and callings evade us because we are afraid of what people will say. “Well wasn’t she doing this and that two years ago, who does she think she is trying to start a mentor group for young girls, or who does he think he is trying to pastor a church even though, 5oo light years ago, he was doing this and that”. At the end of the day, people will always have something to say, sometimes out of jealousy, unforgiveness, or bitterness, but we should never apologize for the way that God wants to use or bless us because his calling is without repentance and irrevocable, “not to be revoked or withdrawn, not even to be regretted”.

I’m not saying that we should remain stagnant and complacent in our walk with God, and not take steps to becoming the best version of who we were created to be.  We shouldn’t use the “this is just my personality” excuse to exhibit things that are not of God. If you have bad habits, ask God to help you fix them. If your life is not bearing the fruit of the spirit, “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control”, Galatians 6:22-23, then we need to re-evaluate ourselves. We need to make the first step. Even the prodigal son had to leave his fallen place and make the journey back to his father’s house, before his father saw him from afar and ran to him, welcoming him back with open arms. The point is that change begins with us, take a step forward and God will surely take 900,000 plus infinity steps to get to you, but we have to choose to not remain in the same place that’s deteriorating to us. Get back on the right track and focus. Your blessings, callings, and gifts are waiting for you. Most importantly, God is waiting for you.

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