“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)
“So, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24).
Apologizing is hard and extremely humbling because it’s difficult for us to admit that we’ve failed, or admit that we are at fault.
Still, apologize and genuinely mean it.
Take responsibility for what you’ve done and acknowledge why the other person is hurt.
Repent to God.
Above all, learn how to forgive yourself.
After apologizing, don’t assume that the relationship is now fully restored. It takes two seconds to break a vase, it takes much longer to fix it. Even after all the pieces are put together, the cracks are still visible. It’s like a puzzle that’s put together seemingly perfectly, but still easy to unravel and tremendously fragile. Something that was once beautiful is now eternally flawed. The beauty is unable to be restored through human strength or trial. Only God can flawlessly fix it. Only God can restore it to its former glory. Only God can create beauty out of ashes. [To him alone be all the glory!] If it’s God’s will that the relationship is restored, then rest assured that it will be. But don’t rush the process. Be patient.
And if the relationship is not restored, pray to God to help you deal with it and to help you move on. Remember that there’s a time for everything and a reason for every season. The season for that relationship might be over and it may be time to let it go.
If you’re not ready for it to be over, ask yourself why. It might have to do with selfish reasons. A severed relationship will always be a reminder of our failures and our mistakes.
We think that maybe if things go back to being the way that they were, then we can act like nothing ever happened, thereby ridding us of the guilt and burden that we’ve been holding on to. So sometimes we might not be ready to let go of that relationship so that we are not constantly reminded of our shame. [Therefore, we hold on to things that we have no business having in our possession just so that we don’t have to deal with our real problems].
This is the reason forgiving ourselves is so important. God has forgiven you, the person has forgiven you, yet you are constantly at war with yourself. You hate yourself, and you can’t stand the person that you think you are. The good news is “the old has passed, and all things have become new!” Who you were is no longer who you are. In fact, your actions in the past never defined who you are. It was all just a lie that we internalized and believed. You have always been a child of God, the anointing is without repentance and the title is irrevocable. “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 12:29).
Forgive yourself, and let go of the burden that you’ve been carrying. It was never yours to carry and it’s tiring. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Let go and Let God heal you. But don’t let the lessons go to waste and don’t let the knowledge be in vain!
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate” … “For the old has passed away!”